Life Is Starting Anew. Hold Your Head Up High
I have been beside myself and astounded since Friday. I did not know what to think or what to say. I waited to make this announcement until I was ready and felt confident enough.
I was laid off on Friday. I was given permission to come in late Friday to get my driver’s license renewed and then get my hair cut. It was a hectic and long morning getting errands completed. I arrived at work just before 1PM. I was clued in that something was wrong because I could not log into our corporate chat program. Trying over and over, I failed repeatedly. I went to my bosses office (Director of IT) and asked if there was an issue with chat this morning. He said he would have to get someone to look into it after they got back from lunch.
Minutes later, my boss comes to my office and asked if I would come to his office. I enter and the Director of HR is there. She says that the company has decided to terminate my employment and that I am being offered a separation agreement.
She says that I am being laid off because there was no work for the position and that the position is being eliminated. There is no work for a full time Network Administrator. I am told that the Director of IT has never complained about me or my work.
She walked with me to my office and helps me collect my belongings. I am discretly escorted to the elevator and my relationship with the company effectively ended. I carry my belongings to my Jeep and I return home.
I had known that there was a problem for about a month and a half now. I just didn’t truly act on the feeling. Basically, the work that I was given had stopped coming from my boss. I had provided incredible and well organized network proposals that he had requested. However, a month ago, he stopped reading them or even acknowledging my work. I believe he knew a month ago or earlier that the position just wasn’t ready to be created and that he should have just stayed with his part time Network contractor. I just cannot believe that my boss could not tell me or let me know that situation before hand. I had even asked him if my job was in jeopardy a week ago and he just did not reply to my question at all.
I was completely embarrassed and felt so humiliated. How could this happen to me? I so thought my life was made from now on with this company. I felt so secure and confident with this job and this company. I felt betrayed.
I think it is only natural that I had such feelings and thoughts. The lay off hit me like a jackhammer and I was a bit confused. I am thankful that I had the support and reassurance from my partner, Marshall. However, I felt that I had let him and us down.
He told me that I had nothing to be ashamed of and that I had not let him down. He is kind and loving. I am lucky that I do not have to face this alone. Marshall has been so helpful.
Now the unknown stands in front of my path. This part of my life is new again and I know that I have experience and maturity on my side. I feel young again like I could do anything in life now. However, I know I must be intelligent, informed and calculated in my decisions at this point.
I’ve made some changes already. I reduced and canceled some services we had that were just indulgences and really just unnecessary. I know we will be ok and that I will come out stronger and more successful than ever. I want to align myself with a company I can truly identify with and be happy.
I have so many friends and family on my side who believe in me and I know that my family and I will be well. I truly have so much to be thankful for.
I have a family, friends, a community of like minded people around me. I will prevail.